Making Learning My Job Reduced My Fear of Failure
Living within two conflicting truths was disorienting—I was content AND I had also become bored and wasn’t growing. A work slowdown brought opportunity. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone was really hard; having a friend on the journey gave me courage, and fear of being left behind gave me an incentive to act. Choosing a perspective re-orders how you engage with an experience. In my case, permission to focus on learning gave me a way to manage my doubts and fears, while lowering the stakes.
I Left Design Because I Had Stopped Growing
I spent more than a decade working in design before finally calling myself a designer. Twenty years into my career, I had created a life that seemed too good to be true. I knew I was spoiled and lucky, and deeply grateful for the privilege. But I felt like I was beginning to stagnate. Yet, despite my growing dissatisfaction, I had convinced myself that I was content.
Find Your People
I've been kayaking for almost 35 years—eep! In all that time, I've usually dragged supportive friends onto the water with me. Until recently, kayaking was something tolerated by people who love me.
When I went on my big kayaking trip last month, it was the most I had kayaked in one shot. I had never done such a big paddling trip and I was intimidated. What if I was the slowest? What if I couldn't keep up? What if I hated it?
My "What If" list was pretty long.
One Wave at a Time
So often, we want something about the world to be different, but all we do is wait and hope for change. Wes wanted more people kayaking in the Caribbean, so he did something about it!
⚰ What's so scary about death? 💀
What makes death so scary? There isn’t a right answer, but it’s an important questions to explore. Your answers will hint at what matters most to you in life AND in death.
🌟 Letting Go 🌟
It can feel like January comes with pressure to take on new things. Up until 12/30/23, I had a pretty impressive Duolingo streak—1073 days! Somewhere along the way, my focus shifted and I had completely lost the spirit of learning. The thing is, I KNOW that gamification can quickly turn sour for me; I knew I had to give myself permission to abandon the streak. Letting go of my streak gave me an opportunity to practice letting go while the stakes are low.
“Pedal, pedal, pedal!”
"Pedal, pedal, pedal!" — That's what my friend Mike used to yell at me when we'd be mountain biking through sand. When the ground beneath you is unsteady, the best way through is to maintain your momentum, no matter how slow you're moving. Pedal hard and avoid sudden changes of direction to avoid big crashes!
You go where you direct your attention.
Target fixation tells us that you go where you direct your attention. Which direction will you choose?
“Trust The Process”
I'm in the fog right now in coaching certification. I can see aspects of this particular approach that I haven't yet mastered or just don't agree with, but I can't yet see the other side. The fog is uncomfortable and at times disorienting. But I'm also only 1/3 of the way in. I have plenty of time to find my way through.
I don't know the answer, but I trust my ability to figure it out. I'm also the one setting the bar so high for myself, so if my efforts begin to fall short, I know to show myself compassion.
Good Enough to Go Home
We see so much potential and want so badly for the world to be better. But sometimes our high standards don’t serve our main goals. Do you have high standards? If so, you might be prone to chronically over deliver (and possibly burn out).
Evolution
In several conversations with coaches and peers, I kept bumping into the realization that I was scared. Scared to step into the unknown, scared to take a risk, scared of getting things wrong. It kept me from trying new things with my business, from launching simple experiments, from asking people to let me practice and refine my coaching skills with them. I went so far as to hang up a sign in my office encouraging me to DO IT SCARED in big bold letters.